Growing a beard creates a masculine appearance. Like military men like to wear a moustache. A beard in the army is just inconvenient. Especially with a gas mask on you have no chance at all. For the people who have been in military service or are professional soldiers know that.
In the time that the ticker of this article was in service, a beard was prohibited. When you were on roll call, the sergeant major always walked by with a cotton ball. And if a wisp of white was left behind on the cheek or chin, the whole platoon could go again. To the bathroom. ALL again with the knife in the back.
But the real challenge : A beard and food. These are often very uncomfortable combinations. We'll give you a tip: make sure you have a good beard shampoo in your sights. Without beard shampoo you are the Sjaak. If you want to remove the garlic sauce. Without killing your beard.
What's the most inconvenient food if you wear a beard?
Of course we can make a whole list of them. And we're just going to do that. We share our experiences on how best to bunker damage-free without damaging your beard. It's always so awkward when you're in a Mexican restaurant and the black beans find their way into the beard hairs 1 by 1. That they move to the inside of the beard in a spinning way to snuggle there with their peers.
Or how about a gyros complex. That you coordinate incorrectly like an excited Hamilton and as a result the fork with a load of grilled meat including tzatziki pulsates in your beard. Try to flake it out neatly. Doesn't hurt if you consume our article 'The most common mistakes that damage your beard '. Right, let's put together the most embarrassing beard fillings.
Top 10 most inconvenient foods if you have a beard
We could easily make it a top 40, but then it would be a very long article. So let's tackle the most tricky bites:
1. Pea soup
Try to make a nice fat soldier with a (short) beard. 9 out of 10x with the first few bites you have a green surprise hanging in your beard. And those beard hairs are not such a fan of that melted pea paste. Other soups with strings are just as awkward.
Tip: Make sure you start with a smaller spoon. Less volume and easier to navigate. Most people eat soup with those big spoons, but that's just inconvenient.
2. Spare ribs
And especially the lacquered versions. With such a syrup coating. They are very tasty but also extremely difficult if you don't have a beard or mustache. You will soon become a Captain Kleefman. So after a session of chopping spare ribs, you don't have to think that you can give your girlfriend a bite. Perhaps a refreshing beard tonic , after you have cleaned the beard, offers some relief.
Tip: There is only one thing to do here: that is eating spare ribs with a knife and fork. No quibble for sir. But neatly navigating with the fork to bring a small piece of roasted rib to the grinding carnivore teeth of you.
3. Half a chicken
The same applies here as with spare ribs. Use knife and fork. Of course it can go wrong, but if you are going to chew on a chicken leg in possession of a (thick) beard, that is asking for heartbreaking delicacies mess. The herbs and pieces of skin from the chicken skin cling to your beard hairs. There's no way you can chew chicken without ruining your beard. There are only drawbacks to that too.
4. Warm meat sandwich with satay sauce
After a night out there is nothing better than a hot meat sandwich with peanut sauce from a good snack temple. Those guys also usually put a lot of satay sauce over the steaming fricandeau. Of course your primal instinct roars that you want to graze. The teeth have to go in. Can you do. That after the first bite all those hot strings of peanut sauce infiltrate your beard.
Tip: No warm meat sandwich with satay sauce. Just take a roll with young cheese and a salad bla'. Sorry.
5. Indian with ample curry sauce
In itself you can consume Indian fine. This is easy to do with cutlery. Without the beard turning into a cabinet of curiosities. Of course, navigate well with a fork or spoon, and then, in principle, nothing has to go wrong. There is only 1: and that's the curry. This yellow herb is disastrous for your beard and moustache.
Tip: If you do not want to be addressed with 'Hi Yellowstone' the next day, we advise you to go to the bathroom as soon as possible after eating a curry dish to rinse your beard well .
Especially if you don't know how to eat this Italian pasta, it becomes a difficult story. There is a certain technique involved here. If you throw yourself like a 3-year-old child grazing on such a bowl of tomato paste, it will definitely go wrong. Pasta strings, plenty of tomato sauce and chunks of minced meat are suddenly steaming props in your spaghetti western beard…
Tip: Eat like the Tuscans do. So with a fork you prick the pasta from the plate and turn it around in your spoon. Then it is a nice compact whole and you can slide it in bloodlessly and with policy. Bellissimo!
7. Unpeeled king prawns in garlic olive oil
Challenge number seven. It is already a drama to gnaw this sea fruit immaculately received without a beard. With a beard it becomes a difficult exercise. When you work manually, the hot oil with all its present herbs drips smoothly into that crispy beard of yours. With a knife and fork you can shake it anyway.
Tip: Leave the boiling hot unpeeled shrimp for what they are. They are also delicious unpeeled. From one of those shivering tapas dishes. Fork. prick. Navigation. Hop.
8. Cheese fondue
Who doesn't like it. 12 kinds of cheese fondue! With plenty of garlic, pepper and a formidable sauvignon blanc inside. And then, like Knight Lancelot, go poking at that fragrant cheese mass. With fresh baguette or various blanched vegetables. So far no issue. But then: the bread dipped in the red-hot cheese has to go to the grinding jaws. And then it goes wrong. With about 30 centimeters of cheese that falls on your beard. No more saving.
Tip: Make sure you let the bread or carrot with steaming cheese land on your plate first. If it is a homogeneous mass, you can maneuver le pain and the melted cheese in with a fork and knife. C'est Tout!
9. Dame Blanche
Ice cream alone is usually fine. Yes, not in the summer with an oublie horn and 4 balls of stracciatella that will fatten your beard hairs while leaking. No, we're talking about a fancy 70's ice cream usually served in crystal. Whipped cream to the max and then it comes: the hot chocolate sauce. To the extent that. See you tomorrow!
Tip: you can eat such a dessert, but with caution. So again with the right instruments: spoon and fork. And then not catapult in like a sugar-raised 13-year-old Ruben… No. Calmly and with policy.
10. Fruit yogurt
Whether you eat fruit yoghurt, cinnamon / macaroon custard or thin quark. Your beard is already shocked when you walk to the fridge and see that you conjure up such a suit. The moment you pick up the spoon, the blood pressure of the hair follicles rises to dangerous levels. Desserts and beards.
And especially the custard and yogurt variants. That is often a battle. You know the vanilla custard and a bouvier joke right? If you don't wash the beard quickly with a good beard shampoo, that sour dairy smell will linger extremely. There you go, Huub Hangop.
Tip: preferably not or very carefully with the spoon to work. Sit well for it too. Caution trumps. So relaxed. Then you can prevent the greatest damage.
Of course there are many more dishes that are very inconvenient to eat if you have a beard. It's difficult anyway. Take your time and use cutlery in most cases. There are no beard napkins to position over a beard and moustache yet. Or are we now coming up with a bright idea? Anyway, be careful and save your beard. The most important thing is that you take good care of him after eating.
A very good protection is of course beard oil , beard balm or beard wax . With this you coat the beard and it can take a beating. Apart from the fact that you had to feed and hydrate the beard with this.
Good luck with good food and that you take good care of your beard at the same time!
Your friends, The Alpha Men.